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Caffe Nero voted most popular place to have early morning affair

Caffe Nero has been named the most popular coffee chain in Britain for adulterous meet-ups before work.

Pasty detector vans will enforce payment of annual pasty fee

The chancellor has made a dramatic U-turn on his unpopular “pasty tax” plans, replacing them with an annual fee to be enforced by pasty detector vans.

George Osborne announced last night that any household which intends to consume the savoury items must pay £14 per year.

10 best things in the office recycling bin, including shoes and other stuff you wouldn't think anyone would really ever think of putting in a recycling bin

Guardian to refrain from printing UK weather forecast to avoid offending other countries

The Guardian newspaper will not be printing the UK weather forecast tomorrow to avoid offending other countries. Editor in chief Alan Rusbridger said the report would instead sensitively explore the weather in other countries.

Olympic missiles are intended to stop foreign athletes "going too fast", says Theresa May

The missiles that were last week revealed to be sited on London rooftops are aimed at the Olympic Stadium “in case foreign athletes go too fast”, the home secretary has revealed.

Spotted in Hawkenbury: not entirely what you expect to see in the backstreets of Tunbridge Wells...

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9 things that have always been weird about shopping at Argos

9) The fact that you will always take a catalogue away with you, even though you never look at it. It will live on your coffee table for three days until you quietly retire it to the recycling bin.

Something you don't expect to see in fairly nice chain restaurant Strada in Tunbridge Wells...

Key: 

1) Table with two young women enjoying an evening meal.

2) Laptop of workman on next table. Laptop is open and showing a film. We presume it was a film, it might have been porn. Which is still a film, of course.

3) Workman's cap and headphones. Classy.

4) Fluorescent jacket. If this is what he wears to a nice restaurant, what does he wear when he's being casual?

"Ahhh, mesdemoiselles, good evening, and step this way, si'l vous plait. We are so pleased to see you at Strada, Tunbridge Wells. Take a moment to soak up the atmosphere: the dimly lit interior, the wonderful scent of our woodfired oven, the smell of fresh and imaginative food... And now perhaps you would care to run your beautiful eyes over our list of highly palatable and almost affordable wines?

"Ahhh, and when you are ready, perhaps you will find yourself making flirtatious conversation with the workman on the next able? If things get saucy, he may even remove his fluorescent jacket... Bon appetit!"

 

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Return from Strada, Tunbridge Wells Pic to homepage

Local Pub That You're Scared To Go To But We're Not: no.9, The Crooked Billet, 84 Upper Clapton Rd, London, E5 9JP

Pictured: gloom.

Time of visit: Saturday afternoon.

Atmosphere: Saturday afternoon.

7 Worst Things About Smokers

7) Entering a room immediately after their last puff, so that the final stage of their cigarette is actually completed indoors. Hey, smokers, finish the fag and breathe out for about a minute. Then come in.